It’s fall already… Wait what?
L: HURRAY! WOO HOO! Goodbye sweaty summer! Hello fall, you beautiful crisp, cool season you! Is it me or do you feel a change in the air? I feel energy slowly returning to my body and I’m ready to embrace all the fun that is to be had in the coming months.
H: I could have sworn it was June… No, it can’t be fall. Maybe it’s so unbelievable to me because it’s still so blazingly hot outside. I typically don’t associate fall with sweating, but here we are. Maybe this is what people mean by global warming… Wait what?
Three hurricanes in a month… Wait what?
L: Awful. Just awful. The devastation that this hurricane season thrusted upon Texas, Florida, Puerto Rico, and the Caribbean. I found myself unable to look away from the Weather Channel, as major storm after major storm was named and made landfall in the Atlantic. We will continue to pray and offer support in any way that we can to those who are suffering.
H: It was devastating to watch. It seemed to never end, but when it did it left destruction in it’s wake. Our thoughts and prayers are with all impacted.
H received a $0.96 tip this week… Wait what?
L: Yikes! Been there, deposited that! I often think back to my time as a waitress with humor and fondness. However, let it be known that working in a restaurant is one of the hardest jobs out there. Be kind, people. Be kind.
H: If you like crabby people, being covered in other people’s food, and doing it all with a fake smile on your face, then the service industry is for you. Yes, I received $0.96 as a tip on a $20-something bill. No, not a full dollar. Yes, exactly $0.96. And while I was thinking, “Wait what?” and some other, less civilized words, out loud I smiled and even mustered a “thanks.”
TV is back!… Wait what?
L: *Insert a slow clap here* Welcome back fall television, welcome back! As if we needed any other reason to love fall. So long boring nights and empty DVR. So long plans that require me to actually leave my house. Hello, This is Us. I have the Kleenex ready. Hello, the Blacklist, you twisty dark comedy you. Hello, Shonda Rhimes. What nonsense will you force feed us this season?
H: Oh, sweet, sweet television. Don’t you love the loyalty your favorite shows have of coming back when they say they will? And usually (not always) better than ever! Right now, for me, it’s all about This Is Us… But soon will be the Walking Dead to fill that violence void I’ve had in my heart since Game of Thrones ended.
Another e-mail scandal… Wait what?
L: Meh. I am uninterested/slightly irritated with the state of all things political…
H: If you listen really closely, in the distance, far, far away, you can faintly hear Hilary Clinton punching a wall.
A duchess, a Kardashian, a West, and a Jenner walk into a maternity ward… Wait what?
L: What a week for babies! As obsessed as I am with the royal family, I hate to admit that I have equal interest in all things KarJenWest. Perfect timing with the tenth anniversary of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, or just coincidence?
H: Let’s be clear that the Kardashian Klan do not compare to the royal family… Also, could Kylie be Kim’s surrogate? Just going to put that out there.
Christmas is here!… Wait what?
L: No. Just no. I was already mad at you Target for pushing out the Halloween stuff… WHILE I was shopping for school supplies… IN AUGUST. I do realize that you have been doing this to me… FOR YEARS, and yet I keep returning. Darn you $1 section!
Target 1: General Public 0.
H: Can’t we just enjoy the moment, people?! I love Christmas as much as the next gal, but can’t we get through September before we start Kris Kringling the place up? I refuse to look at anything red and green until November 1st, and even that’s pushing it.